10/22/2020 0 Comments October Member Meetup Recap: Zopen Mic
Thanks to all members who participated in this month's virtual open mic meetup! Lots of heartfelt and poignant pieces were shared, covering an array of topics like love and acceptance, social change, processing time and anxiety during a pandemic, and more. In lieu of a community gathering this month, we thought we'd share some of the pieces that were performed on this public platform. Read on for a partial replay and discover if any of these artists' words or music resonate with you!
Julia Sage
Original Song: Here Comes the Clock
Bonnie Nicholls
Original Song: Nothin'
Dishes in the sink, evidence of drink In bottles and cans near the door Unanswered texts, unrelenting requests To see if I've got off the floor All I wanna do is nothin', lie around and give in to the fear All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly disappear Curtains drawn, weeds in the lawn Detritus on the porch Bed unmade, bills unpaid The whole place should be torched 'cuz All I wanna do is nothin', lie around and give in to the fear All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly disappear No energy left to explain the entropy inside my brain Inertia is the only thing that moves me now All I wanna do is nothin', lie around in bed all day All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly slip away Slowly slip away, and slowly slip away Susan Lipson
Original Song: Let's Reframe
Complacency is how things go from bad to worse
And it really is a curse When silent shrugs are all we show. Standing by, not standing up Is the reason things don't change For we ALL must rearrange The status quo. The worst of history repeats Unless we stop the trend. It's up to us to end The unjust treatment we allow. We can say it's not our fault, That we've done nothing wrong, But we owe more than a song; We've got to act and stand up now. Chorus: Who are we? Let's reframe As if viewing Earth from space We're just multicolored folks-- The human race. Who are we, staking claims Based on pigment in our skin When the color of our blood Is just the same?! We're part of systems that allow Injustice to exist Now it's time we all resist The -isms hidden in our laws. No human merits privilege More than any other, We ALL come from a mother-- To grow in peace is our shared cause. Only what we add in goodness Can measure human worth For we're all here on this Earth As vital cogs in a machine. So, if some of us are broken Then ALL of us must fix The social structure, adding bricks To build foundations not yet seen. Who are we? Let's reframe As if viewing Earth from space We're just multicolored folks-- The human race. Who are we, staking claims Based on pigment in our skin When the color of our blood Is just the same?! Until we give up stupid notions That anyone's worth more, We ALL know what's in store: More of the same. Unless we teach our kids that they are No better and no worse, We'll maintain the racist curse With no one else to blame. Who are we? Let's reframe As if viewing Earth from space We're just multicolored folks-- The human race. Who are we, staking claims Based on pigment in our skin When the color of our blood Is just the same?! Chorus repeats Astra Kelly
Original Song: Heavy
Heavy, unsteady Waiting for voices to follow Heavy, unsteady Searching for words I can swallow The rain came to shatter, pouring down pain Drowning perceptions we had Waiting, unchanging I won't give in to the madness Chorus: Heavy, heavy I can't carry this weight Steady, steady now Lean into faith, til we break Through Thoughts come in like tremors Sirens signal the storm The rain came to shatter, reflections of me Pieces of the puzzle to place Heavy, yet ready Guide me into grace Chorus: Heavy, heavy I can't carry this weight Steady, steady now Lean into faith, til we break Through Bridge: Dreaming of finding home, safe from the storm Be weightless my soul, when fear lets me go Chorus: Heavy, heavy I will carry this weight Steady, steady now Lean into faith, we will break Through Lindsay White
Original Song: A Little Piece of Quiet
It's like the windows in my spirit and my soul have all been painted over It's like the locks in my heart were changed, and not by me and no one made me a key It's like I'll never know what could grow outside these gates What kinds of fates would await me It's like these poison clouds are shrouds upon my ears It gets harder and harder to hear I just, I just need A little piece of quiet Turn it down Shut it out Gimme more of that sweet silence âIt's like more people just keep dying all the time with bigger numbers come smaller headlines I make a fist, resist, but this twisted mind it binds my wrists I exist in fits Is this all there is If I killed this sound Would I drown or live Repeat Chorus Cathryn Beeks
Original Song: This Time
let's face it
we're not gonna change some people's minds they weren't raised right taught to kill and fight you know the kind and all I can hope for is their children will see the light look with your heart, kid You know what they're doing ain't right this time we are living in makes me wanna give in and die but this rage keeps me living injustice makes me wanna try I don't understand how some folks can turn a blind eye no more will I ignore I aint letting up this time It's now or never I ain't ever seen it this bad so many years of pretending what we had now everything's broken and every one is the glue If you won't join us I will fight harder than you let's face it we're not gonna change some people's minds they weren't raised right taught to kill and fight you know the kind and all I can hope for is that their children are not blind look with your heart, kid we'll make it better this time
Thank you, readers, for stopping by and lifting up our members by bearing witness to their work! Community members and prospective members, please check out our FAQ pages if you are interested in being a part of the Lady Brain fam!
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This month was all about exploring vulnerability. Starting with a virtual workshop led by Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, attendees were challenged with finding and posting a visual or creative representation of their current state (see below for some examples).
After the completion of the workshop, we challenged members to continue tapping into their own artistic vulnerability and asked them to share what came up creatively as a result. The idea was not to create a masterpiece, but rather a simple and honest reflection of the moment we are in. Some members utilized the above photos as inspiration, others started from scratch. Below is their beautiful and honest art. Thank you, collective members for sharing yourselves with our greater community.
Cathryn Beeks
Cathryn Beeks is a musician, producer, and mixed media artist (not to mention founder of Listen Local Radio as well as host of the Lady Brain Podcast). She says, “It's amazing how perspective changes everything, how everything changes, including preconceived notions. What was once so distasteful has now become a comfort zone, a place to settle down and live a life full of simple pleasures."
Lizzie Wann
Lizzie Wann is a published poet and spoken word artist. The piece she submitted is called “Life's Work" - it combines inspiration from two of our initial visual prompts: the Danielle Coke quote as well as the Baskoro Lanjar Prasetyo work. She says, “Recognizing where I am personally in the midst of inequality and racial injustice, among other things, has been difficult yet ultimately motivating. Understanding the ebb and flow of energy needed to combat these struggles remains a constant lesson."
Life’s Work
morning fog matches my brain grasping for clarity as my eyes adjust sun struggles to break through revelations about the past explode my here and now disassemble awareness work begins to unlearn I gather blue smoke to synthesize renewed insight every day is a choice to act that is, to take action, not to pretend for colorless accolades it becomes a daily election to cast a vote toward justice to righteously fight for freedom this grim fog hovers but clear skies are beyond in joy, in celebration, in resistance Marie Haddad
Marie Haddad is a musician and mixed media artist. Below is her untitled photograph submission.
Astra Kelly
Astra Kelly is a musician, producer, artist, and spiritual practitioner. Her spoken word piece is called “The Right to Mourn."
The Right to Mourn
I feel robbed of my right to mourn. You’re talking about rights? to bear arms, to harm your brother, your father, your grandmother? My grandmother passed alone the day before my mother’s birthday who is battling cancer during a pandemic....navigating a whole other systemic blunder. How many lives lost on the side while dis-ease rages far and wide and those we love left vulnerable to die? How can you not see as you run naked through the streets with your fuck you flying, screaming I don’t care From there, we’ve fallen I feel robbed of my right to mourn. There have been no moments of honoring lives lost, our test of endurance or our resilience in bearing the cost of this madness. I want a voice that glides on fire as we stand ready to fight. Who shouts “we will rise up strong and give everything to the cause.” One who rallies our hearts to unite as an army of love. I long for one who speaks and the wind blows stronger as the spirits whisper of empowerment and materialize into our frame as we prepare to play the game risking everything for the ones we love and simply cannot lose. I feel robbed of my right to mourn. My chest tight with holding back, fear in my throat, afraid of the breakdown, feeling the weight of this reality and the impending rebirth of the humanity we’ve lost. I want to be close to you. I miss you. I want to grieve with you together as one so we can rebuild when the moment comes and the danger has passed Forgive those who cannot embrace the truth and who dwell upon the murky depths of illusion For now, we wait. Lindsay White
Lindsay White is a writer, musician, and organizer of Lady Brain Presents. She says, “I'm increasingly concerned, anxious, and depressed about what is happening in my own mind and heart, as well as what is happening in this country. We have always been terrible as a country and as a society at acknowledging the harm we do to ourselves and each other; instead we seek out distraction, we stoke division, we fuel fear. We'd rather have a spectacle than have a look in the mirror. I'm taking off social media for the next few months to tend to my wellbeing and try to do good in the world without feeling the pressure or guilt or shame or fear or anger that my online experiences seem to exacerbate. The below is one of the final pieces of prose I shared on my Facebook account. Hopefully if and when I do return, we'll be vaccinated and Trump-free."
The Worst of Us
He told us who he was back in 2016 and since 2016. We can’t seriously be clutching our pearls about the taxes. We can’t seriously be surprised about the bullying and lack of decorum. We can’t seriously be flabbergasted by the misogyny, the manipulative appeal to Christians, and the fanning of fear flames. We can’t seriously be shocked about the latest in a series of white supremacist dog whistles. What is this theatre we are sucked into, where he does what we know he will do, then we point at it hysterically and say “see!?” to all the other people who not only also knew he’d do it, but LOVE (overtly or covertly) that he did it? There’s got to be some other way. I hope voting this vile creature out of the highest office in the land looks like a sunrise, sounds like thunder, feels like trash day, smells like spring, and tastes like freedom. And I hope we remember that we should have all taken the responsibility to flick him off the national stage like a picnic ant back in 2016 when we had the chance to casually do it without hundreds of thousands of casualties. When we had a chance to empower a qualified womxn over an incompetent manchild. So the next time someone comes along who is a threat to all things that are good and safe and kind and just, we don’t make sport of letting them prove to us for four years what we already knew. Please, for the love of democracy and the safety of this country and its people, do not cast your ballot for Trump. He is the worst of us. He is the worst for us. He is the worst.
Thanks to all those members who attended our vulnerability workshop and who shared their creations! And thanks to YOU for attending this virtual exhibit on vulnerability! We will be taking the remainder of the year to focus on private member meetups and workshops, and will keep the community posted on future public community gatherings as soon as we get the green light to organize in-person events! In the meantime, please be sure to visit our Member profiles to see how you can support them during this hard time, and don't forget to check out our LB For Hire page if you'd like to employ a local creative womxn for your next project! Prospective members, find out more about joining the Lady Brain Collective here.
Thanks so much to those who attended our Virtual Cafe workshop on the topic of vulnerability with guest facilitator, Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, Director of the Conscious Leadership Academy and the founder of the Center for Women’s Leadership at the University of San Diego. Lorri guided attendees in a discussion about where we are, what we need, what we are learning, and what we might shift to adapt to this moment and meet ourselves. We started with a check-in and shared answers to Lorri's prompt: What is one of the biggest shifts, creatively or otherwise, you've had to make in the last several months, and what opportunity or insight have you noticed from this time? We also talked about some of the ways anxiety can push us into a disequilibrium or detachment that prohibits us from accessing our vulnerability or makes us feel as though being vulnerable might threaten our safety. We learned some myths surrounding vulnerability, for example:
Lorri challenged us to identify how these myths show up in our lives, where they are coming from in our experiences, and think about what we can do to challenge them and rewrite our narratives moving forward. She also talked about developing strong networks of support to combat those times when our traditional support systems (family, etc.) might not be able to show up for us as we hoped. See clip below: TRANSCRIPTION: It's really hard if people have failed you in the past, people who you hoped and expected to show up for you, and didn't, that's really hard. And again, it's similar. I would say, find those folks that do you know, groups like this, you know, that maybe it's not the same as a spouse, parents, siblings, unfortunately, but you know what? These people are people who are going to show up for you. And that's amazing, you know, finding the folks that will show up for you and be there for you is huge. And it's an amazing gift. And so then maybe once you find that space, it's like, okay, I do have people in my corner, and people do show up for me so I can tell myself a new story that it's not true that nobody shows up for me. People who live like me kind of authentically creatively, they show up for me, those are my people, you know? Those other people like, oh, they're in my life. What can I do about it? I'm related to them. So I'm going to find a way to get through, but I've got these people, right? Who do see me and that's such a powerful feeling. And so it's worth finding it. And then slowly that power can overwhelm the lack over here, if that makes sense. Stay tuned for our September community gathering, where we will channel some of what we've learned and share pieces of art centered around the idea of vulnerability! If you're interested in learning more about joining Lady Brain Collective, start by visiting our FAQ, then head over to our JOIN page to submit a membership application!
Thank you to everyone who attended this week's member workshop Q&A with Mona Tavakoli! Her positive energy, insight, and commitment to being part of a team was a breath of fresh air in today's often-dark, isolating times. Below, enjoy a couple clips from our virtual call where Mona talks about showing up authentically for social justice. TRANSCRIPTION: “I think what became really clear to me was through Rock Camp and why that space is so important to me is that could I, by just being myself, could I by just being Mona, with all of my quirks and all of my beauty and all of my insecurity, exactly as I am, could I come to this space? And just by showing up to the space, can I help somebody else feel free or seen or loved? So that was walking the walk for me. So being on stage as a person of color and feeling like maybe that's gonna be important somehow, but then going and being the boots on the ground for Rock Camp, and not just being Persian Mona, or not being lady Mona, but just being myself and creating a space where other people can come and just be themselves. You don't have to be the best drummer in the world. You don't have to have technical skills. You don't have to be a great teacher, to be honest with you. You just have to come into the space and say, 'Let's do something together. Let me teach you something that I know the best way that I know. And can you then reflect something back in that space? It was so powerful and it felt like, that's social justice, that's equanimity. That's creating an equal playing field for all girls. That's saying, 'I'm going to be who I am. You be who you are. And let's create a space.' And music is the medium in that way. Right? And writing a song or learning an instrument is - this is going to sound weird, but a distraction to learn those deeper values of communication and allyship and compassion and self-love and how to be a better citizen of the planet." TRANSCRIPTION: “So if you want to be a social justice warrior advocate, you have to be yourself, and you have to be true to you, and do the things that feel true to you and be of service that way. Is it through songwriting? Is it through poetry? Is it through volunteering? Is it through creating space or a meal for somebody else? There's so many ways to be creating equality in your own life that is true to you and not true to the vision of somebody else's social justice." If you're a local woman or gender-marginalized creative who is interested in building community, collective education, and resource sharing, we'd love to have you! Please register to join Lady Brain Collective here!
Thanks to all who participated in this year's (virtual) Lady Brain Film Festival. The pandemic threw a huge wrench into our event plans, but we are still so excited to support our members and recognize their awesome work. Not to mention, our selection committee was stacked full of incredible womxn filmmakers and artists who were kind enough to share their work and expertise. Click below to experience the festival from the comfort of your home!
Thanks to all who participated in Juy's Queer+ Voices virtual community gathering. We heard from members about their unique experiences coming out and living authentically in the world as queer+ folks. If you missed any entries, make sure to check out the full series by clicking the below link!
7/31/2020 0 Comments Queer Voices #11: Tori Roze
Finishing up our Queer+ Voices series for the month, here's an interview with Tori Roze, multi-talented artist, actress, writer, musician, model, Reiki practitioner, and performance coach who proudly identifies as a pansexual (“not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity") queer (“an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual and cisgender - cisgender denotes or relates to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex") womxn (“an alternative spelling of woman, used especially in intersectional feminism a to avoid the suggestion of sexism perceived in the sequences m-a-n and m-e-n, and to be inclusive of trans and nonbinary womxn").
LBP: Tell us a little bit about your coming out experience(s). How has life changed for you since being “out”?
TR: The 1985 film Just One of the Guys, starring Joyce Hyser, was my initial queer confirmation. Her androgyny spoke directly to my little heart and gave me butterflies. I watched that movie, on repeat, when I was about 7 or 8 years old, maybe even earlier. I recognized something in her that existed in me; as I have always felt a strong sense of both my masculine and feminine sides despite the onslaught of societal pressure to exclusively “be a girl.” I’m magnetized to androgyny because it lives in the “grey area” of visually defining someone – it’s revolutionary. Androgyny is my favorite visual human expression because it neither denies nor confirms what is an acceptable gender performance. It just is. In realizing my attraction to alternative forms of gender expression, I kept my hair short from the age of 8-15. When I was 12, I began to walk around my neighborhood in broad day light dressed as a boy. Baggy pants, loose shirt, backwards hat, super short hair, and skate shoes. My boobs hadn’t fully developed yet, so I felt like I could get away with it. The whole thing was part experiment and part comfortability: I wanted to see if anyone would even recognize me, to be honest (they didn’t). And since theatre was so prominent in my upbringing, I didn’t even question the fact that I liked dressing up in what some might consider “costumes” regularly. At some point I realized that we were all wearing costumes and performing in our own daily lives. And when you realize that, it’s yours to take advantage of so that you feel authentic in your own outward expression. I am not attracted to gender, either: I am attracted to the person and their heart, one hundred percent. I found myself seeking out others who felt the same as I did towards gender expression. That’s when I discovered high-school theatre. The thespians (theatre-related peeps) at my school were extra in all the right ways (myself included). We were like a tight-knit family of intelligent weirdos who didn’t care what anyone thought. We needed that mutual support in order to find out where we wanted to fit into the world, not where we were being forced to. We are all still friends to this day. But high school is formative, and two specific things that brought to light my own sexuality happened in tandem, when I was 16 years old: Angelina Jolie in the movie Gia – who she played was vulnerable and gritty; full of fallibility and intrinsic beauty. I adored her reckless abandon to love and wanted such a passionate person in my own romantic life. The second thing that would change the trajectory of my future was being kissed a friend of mine, who happened to be a girl. High on the internal magic I felt after “the kiss to change all kisses” occurred, I ran to my high school sweetheart and disclosed the whole event...in detail. As someone who knew me extremely well and genuinely cared about my well-being, he suggested that I break up with him to explore this idea of dating womxn. He was my perfect mirror. He not only knew, but he embraced and accepted that I was interested in the same sex. Sometimes I can’t believe how mature our relationship was for a couple of sixteen-year-olds. It wouldn’t be until I was 21 years old that I would officially come out, though. I was only in serious relationships with men up until that point, with the occasional sexual encounter, lady-style. I knew I was bisexual in the physical sense, but I didn’t know how deeply homoromantic I was until I had experienced a real relationship with another womxn. I was directing The Vagina Monologues at University of CA, Santa Cruz, where I was surrounded by 34 sexually-liberated womxn for several months in a row. There is nothing in the world that compares to that amount of awakened femxle energy – it’s electric. It was at this time that I finally took it upon myself to explore dating a femxle. It felt right and was supported in my current environment. At 21 years old, I couldn’t hide my new girlfriend, nor did I want to. I was elated to have found love and wanted to shout it from the rooftops! Love is SO beautiful, it’s a shame to have to hide that joy from anyone. My younger sister was the first person I told. All of a sudden, things from our childhood started to make sense to her and she lit up with excitement. My parents and I are performers, meaning our lives are filled with creatives and people from different walks of life - so I was welcomed and accepted after a short period of time. My parents had to lay to rest the person who I’d been in their eyes for so long and the loss of those whom I used to be with. But something I love about my parents is their ability to grow and evolve. Once they saw my true happiness, they shared in that happiness by fully accepting who I was – and that’s really lucky. Honestly, when all was said and done, it came as no surprise to anyone that I was queer– which is my personal identifying word of choice – it covers it all for me because there’s more non-specific room within it to move about because I feel like I exist within the fluid grey area. I know I am very fortunate to have been so well received. Personal authenticity was always encouraged and my upbringing supported that type of self-discovery. I’ve been a part of the queer community peripherally since I was a child; I’ve never felt so at home as I do here. LBP: How do other aspects of your identity intersect (or perhaps clash) with your sexuality? TR: I am white, curvaceous, and femme (feminine) looking, which often gives men and womxn alike the idea that I am a straight cis woman (meaning female, heterosexual, and heteroromantic). This assumption allows me to go into spaces where “others” are not normally permitted – which I see as a sort of personal rebellion on behalf of the queer community. And since I appear to be “straight” to the general public, there is usually a verbal or written instance where I publicly acknowledge that I am, in fact, queer. I have come out every single day because of the way I look. One of my favorite things is to dismantle people’s assumptions of who I am based on how I look. These moments serve as short-hand educational lessons where my very existence begs for one to “not judge a book by its cover.” Because of my shape and the way I dress, I’m automatically sexualized. Because of how I present, I don’t market myself in a sexy way on purpose. The stereotypical mainstream beauty that prescribes to the male gaze – no thank you. I’m more of a funny girl full of conviction who wants you to actually listen to her words, not a girl who wants you to want her. Music has allowed me the room to fully realize and express myself as an artist more than any other art form that I practice. Music isn’t based on what you look like. My foundational roots will always reside in the full-spectrum production realm of musical theatre, but music has my heart. I work and live in the fields of music, theatre, healing, body-positivity, and the arts. I very well might cease to participate in everything if I wasn’t allowed to find solace in each of these respective circles where I feel seen, heard, and truly understood. The Diversionary Theatre in University Heights (San Diego) is one of the oldest queer theatres in the nation. When I graduated college in 2005 from the extremely forward-thinking and liberal-minded University of California, Santa Cruz; I moved back to San Diego to do productions there for a few years. I wanted to immerse myself in the queer theatre scene. It was nice to not only be cast for my talent, but for my queerness too – that finally counted for something. And because that counted, I felt like I was actually being seen as a whole person. Conversely, there were always roles available in the mainstream theatre for me because my queerness didn’t walk through the door before I did. Not to mention that the shows being produced didn’t even include a role like that – it was too taboo. It saddens me that there are not nearly enough theatres or playwrights producing shows including queer femxle roles. I haven’t had many opportunities to play a role that resonates with a large portion of my identity unless it’s being offered specifically at a queer theatre. It’s still not ok to be queer, unless you are a male, in mainstream theatre. The theatrical art form seems to be an endless work in progress when it comes to relating to the current moment: continually striving towards it and rarely delivering…Which is why I have spent the majority of my time almost exclusively in music for the past twelve years. Alignment with my personal beliefs is a big deal in all of my endeavors. I try to put forth a positive representation of queer culture any and everywhere I go by helping to highlight (through performance) the varying identities within our community. These spaces are sacred to the protection of otherness. “When you know better, do better” (Maya Angelou). ![]()
Image description: Square graphic with yellow background and large white quotation mark at the top. At bottom of square, large black text reads: "queer voices." In the middle, in black text, is a quote from Tori's interview. (Fifth paragraph of question 3). Under the quote, in bold black text reads: "~Tori Roze"
LBP: Pride is a celebration of liberation but also an acknowledgement of struggle, resistance, and revolution. Where do you see yourself in that celebration? Where do you see yourself in that struggle?TR: Pride means having integrity and standing up for what you believe in. Pride means we see and acknowledge each other. Pride means love wins. You love who you love and it’s not a choice. To be able to love whom my heart wants to without being persecuted or exiled is a big deal. That’s why I choose to stay in the United States – the pursuit of freedom. Although in this political climate, it’s sad to think that after all of the years of fighting for the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community, that the government could so easily exploit humanity’s current vulnerability. Every single person in the world deserves to feel free to love whomever they want without fear of judgement. The only time anyone should concern themselves with who I am sleeping with is if I’m trying to sleep with them. In other words: if I’m not going to bed with you, move along and mind ya business.
As it stands, activism is an every-single-day endeavor. On the NYC Subway, there is a saying that goes, “if you see something, say something.” This saying resonates with me. I care deeply about equality and fair-treatment of my fellow humans, whether we personally agree on things or not. Maybe that can be chalked up to my life-experience, because my circumstance is quite different than many others, but we each have our point where we were moved to engage in politics. Childhood definitely shaped me as both a lover and an activist. I have a sister with special needs. That in and of itself has placed a beautiful filter over the entirety of my life. Because of my sister Autumn, compassion is at the forefront of who I am. Being protective towards those without voice or those who cannot protect themselves is how I unapologetically live. My parents didn’t have much to give us in terms of money and material possessions, but we did have love and support. That is the proud torch I carry with me wherever I go, no matter what the cause. At the age of six, I was a lower-class white kid being bussed into primarily Black and Latino neighborhoods for elementary school in order to attend the magnet programs they had. These programs, specializing in different subjects like marine biology, physical education, performing arts, etc., brought kids together from all over the county, creating a mixed salad of culture and ethnicity. This provided my life a strong backbone wherein I honor and appreciate the difference between myself and the person next to me. I revere that difference; life would be so boring otherwise. And because I revere that difference, I protect that difference so that someday a little kid like me can fall deeply in love with their fellow humans all over again. Black Lives Matter. Brown Lives Matter. LGBTQIA+ Lives Matter. Those who are different than me matter. We are equal. Speaking of equality, I’ve been married to the person of my dreams for the past three years. I’ve never been as happy and secure in myself as I am now. I fought for the right to marry by attending rallies and protests, voting, writing, calling, and by showing the eff up for years. To have a right (that I actually wish to exercise) bestowed upon me within my lifetime is astonishing and that’s called progress. Happiness is infectious and contagious. This is what pride is promoting – the right to be happy and live in your personal truth. When people refer to living authentically, this is the exact thing to which they are referring. Do you find it a strange coincidence that the definition of the word “gay” literally means happiness? I sure don’t. Hate takes up a lot of energy and poisons the internal functioning system of a human. My belief is that you cannot truly hate anything that you have come to a level of understanding with (ex: you’ve spoken to people who have experience with said thing, or read about its contextual/historical point of origin). I’m here to continually promote mutual understanding and the abolition of hate at every turn I can. LBP: As an artist, how does your “queerness" or sexual orientation show up in your creative work? TR: Queerness is peppered throughout my creative life’s work. UCSC was a hotbed for queer life and expression, so it really began there for me. I’m stoked that being queer was so well- supported – enough so that I could come into my own both personally and creatively. When writing lyrics, I typically like to use the word “you” when referring to someone – it leaves the song open to be universally relatable. There are a handful of times where I’m intentional about the fact that I like/love someone of the same gender. It’s a lot more-rare for me to do so, but when I specifically want the listener to take that in, I refer to her/she. Essentially, I want to perk the audience’s ears up to make sure they are paying attention in those moments. I also want to take the personal vulnerability a step further by essentially outing myself in those songs to prove that you can create a sound like mine (funky-jazzy-neo-soul) and be queer too. We come in all kinds of packages, y’all! Songs where I allude to queer relations (whether or not I use she/her) are: Fibbin,’ Sweet Drank, Do You, I Try, She Does Not, Animal Instinct, Love Heroin, Bad Half, Selfless, Show Me, Oh Lord Please, Slow Down, Irish Coffee, Hiccup, and Just Say No. Just Say No digs into queer relations of all sorts, as it touches on the subject of one-night-stands and ulterior motives between all of the sexes. You can check out these tunes firsthand on iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Bandcamp, Rhapsody, YouTube, etc. by searching for Tori Roze and The Hot Mess.
LBP: What queer-centered artists, shows, films, podcasts, authors, etc. are you into right now?
TR: Authors/Playwrights: Roxanne Gay, Florence Given, Dr. Faith G. Harper, Kim Yaged, Patricia Cotter. Books: Unf#ck Your Intimacy by Dr. Faith G. Harper***this book will change your life! Shows/Films: These Thems (YouTube), Rupaul’s Drag Race (VH1), POSE (FX or Netflix), Legendary (HBO max), The F Word: A Foster-to-Adopt Story (www.thefwordseries.com), We're Here (HBO), Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO), The L Word (Showtime), Vida (Starz), Lip Service (Hulu or Netflix), Sense 8 (Netflix), Dragula (Netflix), Straight Up (Netflix). LBP: What are some of your favorite LGBTQ+ organizations or businesses you'd recommend our readers look into, buy from, donate to, volunteer for, etc.? TR: Building Allies – learn how to be an awesome, informed, and impeccable ally for anyone who needs it. The LGBTQIA+ Center, San Diego – a place for resources and programs specifically designed to benefit and aid those in the queer community. We Are WildFang – gender non-conforming clothing. Bindle and Keep – bespoke suits for all genders and body types. The Marsha P Johnson Institute – support for black trans lives. LBP: Is there anything else you'd like to mention in closing? TR: Queer Folx Making Music, a night full of queer live original music, will be continuing with livestream performances. We had an incredible premier evening of performance back on March 5, 2020 at Gossip Grill and will be shifting the format online via livestream on September 3, 2020, thus expanding our reach and participation (Instagram Profile for viewing - @torirozebutt). Performers include Lindsay White, The Extraordinary Gentlemen, Abby Posner, and Lillian Lefranc. Tune into Instagram Live on September 3 at 6-8pm PST!
To connect with Tori Roze, visit http://www.torirozeandthehotmess.com/! We hope you enjoyed our Queer+ Voices series!
Next up in our Queer+ Voices series, we'll be featuring musician and songwriter Alisandra Del Nero who proudly identifies as a gay woman. LBP: Tell us a little bit about your coming out experience(s). How has life changed for you since being “out”? ADN: I came out when I was 16. It was an existential crisis for me because of my religion; I thought I would go to hell. My mother took it badly, and it became a family crisis. I ran away once and eventually moved out while still in high school. LBP: How do other aspects of your identity intersect (or perhaps clash) with your sexuality? ADN: I ended up redefining spirituality to be more personal to me. I sifted down to the essence of what I thought god was: love. I felt that if I could come from a place of love, then I had nothing to be ashamed about. I still work on my acquired shame passed down to me through the generations. Adopting kind of a dyke persona gave me permission to pursue my love of woodworking, and I made a 25 year career out of it. It also made me stand out in a field of mostly men. I always felt I could anything they could do, but coming up against bias was hard. I had one job where I was hired as the foreman for a million dollar company, and it wasn't until about a year later that I found out the owner had asked the men if they could work for a woman. I was livid! I marched into the owner's office and asked if it was true. He said yes. I said, “you know, in all my career, I have never been asked if I would be ok working for a man." He nodded in understanding. It was then I knew that no matter my level of expertise, I was always going to be judged by my gender and other people's expectations around that. ![]() Image description: Square graphic with yellow background and large white quotation mark at the top. At bottom of square, large black text reads: "queer+ voices." In the middle, in black text, is a quote from Alisandr'a interview. (The 8th-10th sentences of her response to question 3). Under the quote, in bold black text reads: "~Alisandra Del Nero. Pronouns: She/Her/Hers" LBP: Pride is a celebration of liberation but also an acknowledgement of struggle, resistance, and revolution. Where do you see yourself in that celebration? Where do you see yourself in that struggle? ADN: : When I first came out in '81, everything had to be a secret. You risked losing everything or being the target of violence. I created a family of queer friends, and we all grew up together. We would party and celebrate our sexuality wherever we could . At each other's houses, beach parties, and under 21 clubs. But you were always careful. We were just heading into the AIDS crisis, and I began to experience the cruelty of the Christian fundamentalism. Mr. Rev. Jerry Falwell was not going be satisfied until homosexuals were erased from the earth, and he was tied into the Republican Party agenda (sound familiar?). I got a crash course in politics as my male friends acquired AIDS and began to die. Mr. Reagan wasn't concerned that a bunch of fags were dying. One friend of mine died with no family around him; as he called out for his mom, his gay friends comforted him. Although we called his mom, she disowned him in his time of need for being gay. Going to a Pride parade was courageous then. There was a fear someone you weren't out to would see you or a newspaper would take your picture. The Fundys would picket 6th Avenue and tell you you were going to hell. But we went, we marched, we found each other. Just having the freedom then to march was paid for by countless others who endured arrests, loss of families and careers. The AIDS crisis created a powerful movement in the LGBT+ community, they pushed back, they organized, they spoke out, they petitioned. The freedom I see today blows me away. It also was bought and paid for by so many people before me. My heroes were artists they helped to change public opinions and perceptions. Kind of like the pre-Ellen era and post-Ellen era. The artists of the 80s and 90s led the way in gender expression, social activism. They saved my sanity. Today I'm not tied to the fear of people finding out. I just assume it's obvious I'm gay. I was honored to attend my niece's graduation where she and her female partner held a long embrace and kissed on the field after she received her diploma. My father and family members were all there and no one even flinched. It was then I felt that what I went through was all worth it, for the freedom they had to love each other publicly, without question. I was so proud in that moment, for them, for me, for all of us. LBP: As an artist, how does your “queerness" or sexual orientation show up in your creative work? ADN: Over the last few years I've been performing traditional love song duets with two women singing them. I try to change the gender norms of the songs. Music is how I process all of my thoughts and feelings from my experience a gay person. LBP: What queer-centered artists, shows, films, podcasts, authors, etc. are you into right now? ADN: Comedian and political satirist Randy Rainbow, Indigo Girls, Brandi Carlile LBP: What are some of your favorite LGBTQ+ organizations or businesses you'd recommend our readers look into, buy from, donate to, volunteer for, etc.? ADN: San Diego Pride, The Center, Mama's Kitchen To connect with Alisandra Del Nero, subscribe to her YouTube channel! Stay tuned throughout the month of July for more Queer+ Voices interviews!
Thanks so much to members who participated in any/all of our Community Action Plan workshop series. While our workshops are typically offered privately as a feature of membership and to ensure proper safety and support of our members, we decided to share the steps we covered below just in case any of our readers might find this exercise helpful in their work towards creating racial and social justice. This is an all-hands-on-deck situation, so we hope this framework helps you feel empowered to take (or follow) the lead in the various communities to which you belong. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions! Step 1: Identify Your Communities (transcription here for accessibility) 7/12/2020 0 Comments Queer Voices #9: Veronica May
Next up in our Queer+ Voices series, we'll be featuring musician, songwriter and music instructor Veronica May who proudly identifies as a lesbian.
Tell us a little bit about your coming out experience(s). How has life changed for you since being “out”?
VM: Looking back, my first crush was kindergarten. I didn’t even question my sexuality until I was 21. I remained in the closet for over a year after until I was outed one too many times. I finally surrendered. It might be assumed that a small-town Catholic family would turn their backs away from me, but they never took their love away. I know it took some time for them to accept it, and sadly, immediate family members admittedly believe what I’m doing will send me to hell. But they always ask how my partner is doing and genuinely care about the response. It’s a hard truth, and yet I can still find the love to share. LBP: How do other aspects of your identity intersect (or perhaps clash) with your sexuality? VM: Being a more butch woman, I generally only notice a difference with how I’m treated by men. Once I cut my hair, it was like I was one of the guys. My male barbers through the years would make sexist jokes and I’d nervously laugh along. Like I wasn’t a woman. I also seemed to get more respect as a musician. I was in a duo with Lindsay White, a more feminine presenting woman. She noticed whenever we’d get to a gig, the sound person would always come to me for technical issues. ![]()
Image description: Square graphic with yellow background and large white quotation mark at the top. At bottom of square, large black text reads: "queer+ voices." In the middle, in black text, is a quote from Veronica's interview. (The second and third sentences of her response to question 4). Under the quote, in bold black text reads: "~Veronica May. Pronouns: She/Her/Hers"
LBP: Pride is a celebration of liberation but also an acknowledgement of struggle, resistance, and revolution. Where do you see yourself in that celebration? Where do you see yourself in that struggle?
VM: Lately I have found myself grieving for the community and on another level grieving for the injustices that go beyond sexuality and gender identity. Our communities of color. It took far too many black people dying in the name of racism for me to wake up. LBP: As an artist, how does your “queerness" or sexual orientation show up in your creative work? VM: Lots of love songs through the years. I think as a baby lesbian I would have liked hearing a woman sing a line like, “I love her” instead of “I love him.” Representation really does matter. Off the top of my head I can’t think of a popular song that does this even now.
LBP: What queer-centered artists, shows, films, podcasts, authors, etc. are you into right now?
VM: Lindsay White always and forever. LBP: What are some of your favorite LGBTQ+ organizations or businesses you'd recommend our readers look into, buy from, donate to, volunteer for, etc.? Lady Brain Presents would be at the top of my list. LPB: Open mic - Is there anything else you'd like to mention in closing? I’ll be releasing a music video later this year about white privileged titled, “Bad Wolves.” Other musicians in the collaboration were Miki Vale, Rebecca Jade, Becca Jay, Meghan Lowery, and Jason Mraz.
To find out more about Veronica May, visit http://veronicamay.com/. Stay tuned throughout the month of July for more Queer+ Voices interviews!
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