Thanks to all who participated in June's Creative Process collaborative journal series - if you missed any of the entries, please click on the pictures below to read the work of members who contributed their writing, poems, music, etc. Don't forget to join us in July for Queer Voices, an interview series featuring some of Lady Brain Collective's LGBTQ+ members.

Next up in our “Creative Process" series, we'll be featuring an original song called “Elephant" from Lady Brain Collective member Lisa Brackmann. 

“Elephant" by Lisa Brackmann

​When you’re on the road
And you hit the streets like an elephant
You gotta tote that load
So you lift up your trunk for the hell of it

I want to know
Wandering stranger
Where do you go
Where’s there’s no danger?

Well my luck turned cold
and it hit with the force of a hurricane
So let’s raise a glass
And we’ll drink a toast to what might have been

If I never was
Am I a has been?
Do I double down
Or throw my hand in?

My my
We’re on different roads that go to the same destination
Follow me down
Follow me down
Follow me down

My my
My my

Well it comes and goes
And you tell me just make the best of it
But when it overflows
Well you're not gonna get out ahead of it
 
Tell me a lie
Wandering stranger
Where do we go
When it breaks down?
Breaks down?
Breaks down?
Breaks down?

Welcome back to “Creative Process" our month-long community gathering featuring written work from members of the Lady Brain Collective.  Today we'll highlight a several original poems and a song from member Susan Lipson.

“Springtime Coronation" by Susan Lipson (2020)
(listen to a capella recording on Soundcloud)

We’re spending springtime in isolation 
throughout our nation;
And we are One with the whole world.
Thank no messiah for this illusion;
Fear and confusion 
that both unites and divides us now.

(Chorus)
Ironic that a microscopic crown
Can bring a planet down,
Dropping to our knees.
Ironic that respect does not unite
as well as this great fright
born of a disease.

Folks hoarding products and foods for living,
Taking not giving,
Will feel the loneliness set in.
Meanwhile Italians see
from many balconies
their neighbors singing
and they step out to sing along.

(Chorus)
Ironic that a microscopic crown
Can bring a planet down,
Dropping to our knees.
Ironic that respect does not unite
as well as this great fright
born of a disease.

Bridge:
Behind each tragedy
Is a lesson in disguise--
Though that changes no demise--
I really hope we’ll see
That we owe it to each other 
To separate now 
for the sake of health and unity. 

We’re feeling humbled now 
As we all face the crown 
That made us subjects,
Of its harsh, random decrees.
We’re cells and nothing more,
No one knows what’s in store;
We must be One before
We can defeat this awful coup.

(Chorus)
Ironic that a microscopic crown
Can bring a planet down,
Dropping to our knees.
Ironic that respect does not unite
as well as this great fright
born of a disease.

I hear the silent prayers
Of worldwide neighbors 
Seeking great saviors
To bring us health and peace again.
As we all wait in vain
The skies are pouring rain,
As if in sympathy 
They clean our windows to the world.

(Chorus)
Ironic that a microscopic crown
Can bring a planet down,
Dropping to our knees.
Ironic that respect does not unite
as well as this great fright
born of a disease.

“Global Mourning" by Lizzie Wann

another shooting
another fire
another politician
throws thoughts & prayers
upon the pyre

cold’s getting colder
warm’s getter warmer
will shouting
become a murmur
or will rage sustain
until there’s a reformer

I want to keep safe
people who
are erased
I want to be shelter
for those who
fear their protector

let’s bury the guns
before another one
wielded by
another white guy
kills for fun
or for hate
let’s eliminate
the industry
that arms bigotry

those ‘bad apple’ cops
afraid they won’t get the drop
so they shoot first
it can’t be reversed
another unarmed
brown or black person is harmed
another dream burst
another black hearse
another soul
to the universe

keep the press free
to report every atrocity
let journalists write &
think for themselves
not stick to party lines
or be compelled
to cover up presidential crimes

and what of medicine & science
as others rally around noncompliance
while thousands continue to suffer & die
some people can’t seem to be bothered
because it’s high time we beautify
they want to forget face masks and distance
but I’ll remain resistant
so I can keep my existence

recognize beauty in and of the world
the way a new language can get twirled
on your tongue, in your brain
the way different foods can taste
when you let your mind embrace
the adventure that is unfurled

fuck your white nationalism
fuck your ugly racism
fuck your domestic terrorism
I’ll create a life of global tourism
of dynamic feminism
of passionate egalitarianism
until the end notes of my lyricism
​am
I mourn, I triumph
I grieve, I glory
I bleed, I laugh
I rejoice
I rejoice
I rejoice

​We are the night ocean filled with glints of light.
We are the space between the fish and the moon
While we sit here together.
- Rumi

“Safe Passage" by Lizzie Wann
a journey begins
whether it is your day-to-day
or a new adventure
each day brings opportunities
you can mend a broken heart
celebrate a new start
create your art
stand apart
sometimes it’s hard enough
to just exist
but when you have it in you
when you’re ready
you can resist
you can persist
you can untwist
your insides until all you find is love

your fellow voyagers
carry their own histories
stories that are bone-deep,
blood-soaked, and built
on those from before and before
when you listen and seek love
you will learn from them
for their wisdom is food for the soul

throughout your travels
you will experience peaks & valleys
adversity & advantage
smooth seas & rough waters
there will be times when you will be lost
but here’s some real-life magic

wind is power
adjust your sails and get moving

water is a conveyor
your path is untraceable

clouds are inspiration
let your mind get carried away

rain is music
a sweet song to lift your spirits

and the sky is a map
a constant reference point
find your North Star
and follow it unfailingly
track the sun & stars from east to west
chase the phases of the moon to mark time

finally remember
that when your own course
is straight & clear
to help those
who are adrift
​
every one of us
deserves safe passage

“Murders, Unkindnesses & Other Winged Things" by Lizzie Wann
(from The Hospice Bubble & Other Devastating Affirmations)
​
I’ve got a thing for birds
not just any birds, but certain ones
those steeped in mythology or magic
the ones that signal omens & fate

that said, most birds frighten me
I have only recently begun
to enjoy whoosh of hummingbirds
as they dive & swoop
toward feeder in my parents’ backyard
their impossibly fast and tiny wings
fluttering like a feeling my heart used to know
but when a hummingbird is still
it’s like being let in on a secret

birds of prey are magnificent
hawks, falcons, owls
enormous wingspans & mighty talons
even Zeus chose an eagle as his companion
but always crows & ravens
have enchanted me
even their collective nouns conjure mystery

a murder of crows
bringers of light & death
godlike & wise
but always up for a good joke
they hold memories of other worlds
their familiar caws make my mornings

an unkindness of ravens
known to pick on other species
as a group if necessary
highly intelligent
symbolic of mind & thoughts
straight from the myth of Odin
​
I have dreams where I fly
I am neither crow nor raven
but the higher I go, the lighter I feel
to escape from daily
murders & unkindnesses

that we know
that we mourn
that we rage against
that don’t go away
when we close our eyes

Official Statement to Local Officials from Lady Brain Presents and Members of the Lady Brain Collective
Last Edit: June 8, 2020; 1:36 pm

My name is Lindsay White, and I am the founder and managing member of Lady Brain Presents, a collective of womxn-identifying creatives based in San Diego. Since our inception in late 2018, we have been committed to carving out a place for womxn creatives in our city, creating opportunities where they don’t already exist, exposing the community to our members’ work, and offering assistance/resistance to health and social justice matters affecting our membership and communities. We have until now avoided issuing monolithic social and political statements because our membership consists of so many diverse voices and forms of expression, and we typically prefer to lift up these voices artistically via our monthly, member-led community gatherings. Our very existence is a social and political statement, and our work speaks for itself. However, current events that directly violate the safety of our members and threaten our values and mission compel many of us to speak out publicly.

As a womxn-identified group we have a vested interest in racial justice because racial justice is a feminist issue. Structural racism is built into the fabric of society, and is therefore impossible to separate from the intersecting forms of oppression womxn face. Fighting to dismantle one form must involve fighting to dismantle all of them. Racial injustice threatens our collective because our members, especially our black members, need to feel safe and supported in their communities in order to thrive. We are a family, and we refuse to silently comply as our BIPoC siblings are forced to process the impossible amounts of trauma, fear, rage, and exhaustion that come with systemic racism and oppression. Many of our members find themselves struggling to create and survive this year due to the mental, physical, and economic ramifications of the Covid-19 pandemic; we can not allow their creativity and well-being to be further stifled by locally-sanctioned violence. The safety of our black members at this pivotal moment in history is imperative and urgent.

Defunding/demilitarizing/divesting from the police and abolishing ICE are essential to that safety. We have seen over the last weeks unprovoked escalation of peaceful gatherings by police, continued inhumane detainment and deportation of folks seeking asylum, and mistreatment of people of color and undocumented neighbors, friends, and relatives. In the face of budget shortfalls, our Mayor has proposed $27 million increased funding for police with no oversight or accountability for past and current wrongdoing. As long as our city continues to prioritize law enforcement over the well-being, survival, and flourishing of marginalized communities, it’s impossible to trust that safety for communities of color matters to our local leaders.

As varying opinions circulate around the concept of defunding law enforcement, we ultimately trust and defer to the leadership of Black Lives Matter San Diego, March 4 Black Womxn San Diego, and other grassroots racial justice organizations to define, implement, and oversee what their communities need. We also call for increased funding for arts and education, healthcare and housing, and other social programs because we know healthy and thriving communities do far more to protect and serve San Diegans than enormous police budgets ever could. 

We know ours is a voice that matters and we are committed to lifting up our members because, as the UN reports, “In the long term, societies and economies can only thrive if they make full use of women’s skills and capacities.” We will be watching, voting, and focusing much of our art and action toward racial justice until the demands of Black Lives Matter: San Diego and March 4 Black Womxn San Diego are met. And we will always fight for the interests of all womxn-identifying creatives in this community, which will in turn lift up the communities of which they are a part and the health and social justice issues they care about. Supporting the safety, health, and well-being of womxn sends a positive ripple effect into our community, the world, and future generations. It’s time to dismantle the institutionalized racism that has interrupted that ripple for far too long. 

In solidarity,
Lindsay White
Founder of Lady Brain Presents & Member of Lady Brain Collective

Marie Haddad
Lady Brain Collective Member

Barbara Rutherford
Lady Brain Collective Member

Lisa Brackmann
Lady Brain Collective Member

Noelle Pederson
Lady Brain Collective Member

Cathryn Beeks
Lady Brain Collective Member

Stacy Antonel
Lady Brain Collective Member

Jules Stewart
Lady Brain Collective Member

Amy Day
Lady Brain Collective Member

Lizzie Wann
Lady Brain Collective Member

Marlo Smith
Lady Brain Collective Member

Mayzie Smith-Moors
Lady Brain Collective Member

Ramona Ault
Lady Brain Collective Member

Kinnie Dye
Lady Brain Collective Member

Lauren Leigh Martin
Lady Brain Collective Member

Astra Kelly
Lady Brain Collective Member

Karen Lindenberg
Lady Brain Collective Member

Julia Sage
Lady Brain Collective Member

Marcia Claire
Lady Brain Collective Member

Ren Daversa
Lady Brain Collective Member

Rebekkah Baronkay
Lady Brain Collective Member

Mary Hamer
Lady Brain Collective Member

Sharisse Coulter
Lady Brain Collective Member

Rachel Riba
Lady Brain Collective Member

Sandi King
Lady Brain Collective Member

Emily Bartell
Lady Brain Collective Member

Tori Roze
Lady Brain Collective Member

Susan Lipson
​Lady Brain Collective Member

Welcome back to “Creative Process" - a month-long journaling series from members of the Lady Brain Collective. Today we will lift up the writing of Tori Roze, the member who inspired this entire group project with the below work:

If you’re feeling out of whack lately, congratulations – you’re human and you’re absolutely not alone. Society at large is currently in a forced state of mourning: in mourning for the dreams we were each actively pursuing; in mourning for the ability to be able to plan for what we each want (and are not forced) to do next; in mourning for those suffering and dying at home and in hospitals without a single friend or family member by their side; in mourning for the black and brown lives that have been endlessly and unequivocally under fire since the dawn of colonial civilization; in mourning for in-person education being brought to a grinding halt; in mourning for job and economic loss; in mourning for the way basic things have functioned for SO long that we didn’t even notice we would miss them - things like going to work, missing THAT, for chrissakes!; in mourning for the small things we each enjoyed like being able to grab a coffee somewhere else other than your home or simply being able to stand near someone without the worry of your personal-space bubble in order to protect your health.

During the three month-long worldwide forced quarantine, the “world” as we know it has already changed. WE are different. WE are finally seeing where things have been falling short for decades, if not longer: governments are crumbling, healthcare systems are broken, racism has reached its absolute boiling point (...again), and with the actual control of resources - we, as a people, don’t have access to necessary supplies to even wipe our own butts, in a serious time of Global Pandemic crises.

We can’t eat, drink, smoke, exercise, share, protest, donate, meditate, cook, clean, bake, give, or create nearly ENOUGH to fill the huge void we are all aimlessly pushing through. Floundering is a thing (just keep swimming) and it’s being felt everywhere. FEEL IT! You’re human. You have feelings. Go through the full range of this emotion! There is NO blueprint or precedent for what we are experiencing in this historical moment: this IS the dawning!

At this massive tipping point of the collective consciousness, it is up to each of us as individuals to decide where it is we will fit into the future = this exact moment. We are at a moral crossroads having to prioritize between human life, resources, and money. We have our work cut out for us.

Only this time WE are banding together. We are inciting change now, here, today. WE are showing up and providing for each other. WE are coming up with grassroots solutions. WE are stepping in and fixing every little broken part of the systems that be AND the very morale of a people who exist without the proper guidance of a designated leader. We are CHANGING the world to the image WE, the people - the ones who are helping each other every day by showing up and standing together and protesting and feeding each other and making masks and donating and rallying together  and sharing the load - WISH to SEE. And the Earth is HEALING in our moment of stillness - after years of use and abuse - because we’ve all been trying so desperately to “keep up with the Joneses” at a sprinter’s pace.

“It’s been a LONG, long time coming. But I know, but I know a CHANGE is gonna come. Oh yes, it is.” -Otis Redding

It is time to get DEEP with ourselves, the answers are inside of you/me/us. WE are inventing this as we go, so trust the process and yourself: because education is important, because community is important, because
jobs are important, because love is important, because animals are important, because the Earth is important, because the Ocean is important, because PEOPLE are important. Does any of modern civil society even matter if it doesn’t have people to make it function properly? No, it doesn’t. Today is proof.

Let’s embrace the change happening today because it’s our collective “baby” that we shall nurture together. But make sure to sit shiva long enough to have truly gotten over what the world as we once knew it was. Change is scary, but it’s the only thing we are each guaranteed in this life besides death. Be not afraid. Help each other. Listen to one another. Amplify the voices of those that need to be heard around the world. Show up. Call things out. Allow love, hope, and integrity to lead your actions. Just remember: mutual understanding will save the day, it always does.

​A few weeks ago, Lady Brain Collective member Tori Roze wrote and submitted a piece of writing for the Lady Brain Presents blog (look out for it later in this series) in an effort to help lift our collective spirits as so many folks in our creative community struggle with the uncertainty and grief that comes with living during a global health crisis. Her work inspired June's community gathering/collective journaling project called “Creative Process." Instead of hosting a traditional performance showcase, we asked Lady Brain Collective members to submit written work that expresses their unique experiences of living, working, creating, and surviving through the pandemic. In the time since we received Tori's submission, a massive resistance to white supremacy and police brutality erupted across the nation (spawned by the successive murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd).

As the month of June unfolds, we want to offer our blog to members as a blank canvas, a journal, a microphone, a megaphone, or any other instrument they may need right now. We will bear compassionate witness to whatever our members are experiencing in this moment, and in doing so, create a time capsule for them to process, document, and express their feelings. We believe these reflections may also help folks in the community who might be having trouble articulating their own thoughts and emotions around the current state of the world. 

“Creative Process" starts now:

​“38 Years" by Mary Hamer

For 38 years I've been “without" you
And yet you searched for me. 
It took a virus to break years of silence
To admit you, to set you free. 

Reflection, introspection.
Now admitting to myself
These things I shoved aside
Were all set amongst the shelves 
Of loud indoctrination,
Of quiet giving in
To what the world did want from me,
And not a “living sin." 

And for so long I could not admit. 
I could not let me see.
For I thought the last thing I needed
Was a new identity. 

And now I stand before you,
Laying bare my soul,
Saved and not forgotten.
Finally, I am whole.