Welcome to Boss Ladies, the review column written by members for members! Below, read Lizzie Wann's take on the latest three singles from Lindsay White.

We haven’t had any new produced music from Lindsay White since she released “The Funeral” in December 2019. Since then, well, you know, there’s been a pandemic, extreme ongoing social injustice, and an insurrection(!). For most of 2020 and continuing indefinitely, everyone is asked to stay home as much as possible, which makes creating and recording music extremely difficult, but not impossible. As we all made adjustments to how we manage our lives, White ran through the gamut of emotions, often daily, from anxiety and depression to gratitude and yes, happiness. She also made things happen (and if you know White, this is not surprising). She reached out for help from fellow musicians and her Patreon supporters to figure out how to record her own music at home. And through the immense benefit of technology, she was able to remotely collaborate with various musicians, producers, and engineers to fill in some of the blanks. Which leads us to December 2020, a full year since her last official single, when she debuted “Everything But Loving You,” the first in a string of three new singles. Of her production efforts, White says, “It's not perfect or polished, but what feels more important to me than being perfect is: making an effort within my capacity, being proud of any small progress in that effort, being compassionate about any setback in that effort, and letting go of any attachment to other people's perceptions of that effort. It's a good way to fight anxiety. It's also a good way to approach art. And life.” ​Shortly after this single, White also released “Crickets” (also with a video) and earlier this week, “Nothing Worse.”

“Everything But Loving You" (released 12/8/20) 
Her first self-produced release (with mixing from Amelia Sarkisian and additional instrumentation from bandmates Jules Stewart, James Staton, and Steve Nichols), “Everything But Loving You" is a melancholy celebration of the depth of love. It also is a triumphant acknowledgement of feeling defeated. If those things sound incongruous, you haven’t been paying attention. In this tumultuous time of being alive, it’s a delicate balance of feeling like your life has purpose and meaning and feeling like you have any control over those ideas. White admits that this song was written “from a pretty scary place” as anxiety gripped her in the face of, personally and professionally, losing her musical livelihood and, as a human, the community issues of health and a society locked in a battle about which citizens actually matter. But what she was ultimately able to focus on and cling to is the deep and healing relationship she has with her wife, Audrie. In the first verse, White admits she doesn’t want to do any chores, but even beyond that, “i don't wanna be ambitious anymore / you're the only good news / walking in and out the door / so i'm thinking that i could use / a new plan moving forward.” Her new plan is to “quit everything but loving you” because she’s “so good at it.” But then White broadens even that. She sings, “cause i don’t have a fucking clue / how to save the world / but i can love my girl.” But what we know, and I expect White also knows, is that loving her girl is, in fact, how to save the world. This song reminds me of the quiet, beautiful tones of Corrine Bailey Ray, and it’s a well-done debut production effort for White.

“Crickets" (released 12/15/20)
Lindsay White is not afraid to write about subjects that many writers tend to avoid. In the case of “Crickets,” White brings the realities of infertility to the fore. She uses the metaphor of a cricket, which has been seen as a symbol of good luck, but also the silence of asking for something and getting no response. White and her wife have been trying to grow their family, and “Crickets” details their heartbreaking journey of not yet being successful. The video that she released at the same time is a dramatization of the cycles they endured: the medication, the hormone shots, the love, the waiting, the pregnancy tests, the rituals, the tearful realization when White reaches for a tampon; another failed effort. The song is mournful and spare with just her voice and electric guitar in the verses, then more instrumentation and harmonies arriving in the choruses, but it’s subtle and adds just the right amount of extra depth. In the first verse she recalls her mother’s death, and the second verse transitions to her and her wife’s personal journey as they repeatedly endure the negative outcomes of each attempt to conceive a baby. White sings, “mother nature's coming at me / speeding down a westbound track / hanging out a boxcar swinging / a slow motion baseball bat.” But what may be the most heart wrenching lines come in the third verse when White admits, “of course i should have seen this coming / i should have never picked your name.” The song (mixed by Amelia Sarkisian, mastered by Trevor Hamer) captures the intense feeling of loss for something that was never there, just the possibility of it and the inevitable thoughts of what could come after. The song, the performance, and the video are emotional without being melodramatic, and this balance is something at which White excels.

“Nothing Worse" (released 1/7/21)
For this tune penned in 2017, Lindsay White recorded vocals at home and called upon band Jules Stewart for drum tracking and longtime producer Alexander Dausch for additional instrumentation, production and post engineering.  As White summarizes, the song is “about that dreaded sense of hope we still somehow manage to feel during incredibly hopeless and lonely times.” Well, if that’s not a song for these times, I’m not sure what is. White is at her lyrical best in this song with clever wordplay like “there's a pillow i keep punching /i always take you lying down,” “i'm fighting the finale, like a novice novelist / i'm pacing like Penelope, hope for my homecoming kiss,” and “i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis.” But what I like most about this song are White’s phrasings of the lines that are unexpected but extremely pleasant on the ear and the unusual structure of the song. There’s no real chorus per se, but the crux of the song is the line repeated at the ends of the 2nd and 4th verses and at the end of what could be considered the bridge (White is not a huge fan of bridges). The line, which also provides the song’s title, is “there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this.” The tasty fills by Dausch after the first chorus lines are also especially lovely and imbue the song with the hope that White hopes still exists. (Spoiler alert: it does.)

These three releases from White are each unique in their subject matter and presentation. White has an impressive style that comes through each song with ease, from her expressive voice to her well-crafted lyrics and her burgeoning production ear, plus with help from talented colleagues, we can look forward to more great music from White in the coming months and years. Purchase and download all three songs, plus her full-length album and other music, writing, and merch directly from her website.

Welp, that was certainly not the year we planned for. But despite everything, Lady Brain Collective members stayed creative and stuck together, and Lady Brain Presents did our best to showcase their awesome work to the community. Here's a quick video recap of just some of the work we did and fun we had. Thanks to all of our members and Patreon contributors for supporting us - and if you're not yet aboard the Lady Brain train, find out how to join and/or contribute - 2021 will be even better with you in our fam!

Welcome to Boss Ladies, the review column written by members for members! Today, Jules Stewart will share all her feels about Keys, the latest album release from Cristina Cooper. 

Cristina Cooper's newest album, Keys, is an incredibly honest and intimate look into her emotional journey from the past 25 years. This collection of songs, some of which were written over 20 years ago, is an open journal, chronicling moments from tender insecurity and heartache to bold declarations of love and dignity. Keys was released independently on November 28th, 2020.

Though it’s hard to use the term “silver lining” about any part of 2020, the slower pace of life for many artists who are accustomed to busy gigging schedules has allowed unique introspection and time for projects that have been pushed aside. Cooper used the time to revisit songs from her catalogue that she had never shared with the world. This collection of songs, along with five beautiful musical interludes, became Keys. It seems clear that these songs had been kept private not for lack of quality, but because of the vulnerability it takes to share such deeply personal and introspective work. 

Cooper's choice of stripped down instrumentation and subtle production perfectly compliment the intimate nature of these songs. Perhaps the most elegant example of this is seen in “Come Back to Me” where the vocals are given space to breathe and soar over a steady piano rhythm and gentle synth swells. The vocals are consistently stirring and excellent throughout the album but are showcased perhaps most of all on “The Bar” with its impressive, expressive runs and complementary harmonies.

Cooper played every instrument and part on the album with the exception of the violin on “Long Road”, played masterfully by Evan Price. If that isn’t impressive enough, she also engineered, produced, and mixed the album herself in her own home studio. Her musical mastery is apparent but not ostentatious; every note seems to have purpose and serves the message of her songs ideally from the gentle guitar in “Wake Up” to the anchoring bass in “I Miss You When I Sleep”. 

All in all, Keys is a phenomenally beautiful, emotionally vulnerable endeavor. Cooper's full range of artistic and technical talents are on display from songwriting to multi-instrument performance to engineering and production. The emotional candor and heartfelt lyrics of the songs shine brightly from start to finish and provide ample space for catharsis and connection for listeners. While we’re not done savoring Keys, we’re already looking forward to Cooper's next project, an instrumental mood music album. Stay tuned!​

Listen to Keys:
Spotify - Apple Music - Tidal - Amazon Music - YouTube - Pandora - YouTube Music

1. What are some narrative devices or styles you commonly use? And for what strategic purpose, if any?

2. How have you been able to articulate traumatic/painful experiences for your own healing or to help others heal?

3. What does complicity and responsibility look like for you as a person or as an artist?

4. What stories live inside you that won’t exist in the world unless you create them?

5. What stories have impacted your capacity for empathy? How can you use art to help others empathize with what they might not identify with or understand?

6. What is "expected" of you, your identity, your culture, etc? In what ways do you want to embrace or resist that as an artist?

7. What did you need in your past that you didn't receive or couldn't quite articulate? How can you ask your community for what you need now?

8. ​In what ways can you  anticipate or listen to the needs of your community and respond to those needs within your capacity?

Thanks to all members who participated in this month's virtual open mic meetup! Lots of heartfelt and poignant pieces were shared, covering an array of topics like love and acceptance, social change, processing time and anxiety during a pandemic, and more. In lieu of a community gathering this month, we thought we'd share some of the pieces that were performed on this public platform. Read on for a partial replay and discover if any of these artists' words or music resonate with you!

Original Song: Here Comes the Clock

Original Song: Nothin'

Dishes in the sink, evidence of drink
In bottles and cans near the door
Unanswered texts, unrelenting requests     
To see if I've got off the floor

All I wanna do is nothin', lie around and give in to the fear
All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly disappear

Curtains drawn, weeds in the lawn
Detritus on the porch
Bed unmade, bills unpaid   
The whole place should be torched 'cuz

All I wanna do is nothin', lie around and give in to the fear
All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly disappear

No energy left  to explain the entropy inside my brain    
Inertia is the only thing that 
moves      
me     
now

All I wanna do is nothin', lie around in bed all day
All I wanna do is nothin' and slowly slip away
Slowly slip away, and slowly slip away

Original Song: Let's Reframe

Complacency is how things go from bad to worse
And it really is a curse
When silent shrugs are all we show.
Standing by, not standing up
Is the reason things don't change
For we ALL must rearrange
The status quo.
The worst of history repeats
Unless we stop the trend.
It's up to us to end
The unjust treatment we allow.
We can say it's not our fault,
That we've done nothing wrong,
But we owe more than a song;
We've got to act and stand up now.

Chorus:
Who are we?
Let's reframe
As if viewing Earth from space
We're just multicolored folks--
The human race.
Who are we,
staking claims
Based on pigment in our skin
When the color of our blood Is just the same?!

We're part of systems that allow
Injustice to exist
Now it's time we all resist
The -isms hidden in our laws.
No human merits privilege
More than any other,
We ALL come from a mother--
To grow in peace is our shared cause.
Only what we add in goodness
Can measure human worth
For we're all here on this Earth
As vital cogs in a machine.
So, if some of us are broken
Then ALL of us must fix
The social structure, adding bricks
To build foundations not yet seen.

Who are we?
Let's reframe
As if viewing Earth from space
We're just multicolored folks--
The human race.
Who are we,
staking claims
Based on pigment in our skin
When the color of our blood Is just the same?!

Until we give up stupid notions
That anyone's worth more,
We ALL know what's in store:
More of the same.
Unless we teach our kids that they are
No better and no worse,
We'll maintain the racist curse
With no one else to blame.

Who are we?
Let's reframe
As if viewing Earth from space
We're just multicolored folks--
The human race.
Who are we,
staking claims
Based on pigment in our skin
When the color of our blood Is just the same?!

Chorus repeats

Original Song: Heavy

Heavy, unsteady
Waiting for voices to follow
Heavy, unsteady
Searching for words I can swallow
The rain came to shatter, pouring down pain
Drowning perceptions we had
Waiting, unchanging
I won't give in to the madness

Chorus:
Heavy, heavy
I can't carry this weight
Steady, steady now
Lean into faith, til we break
Through

Thoughts come in like tremors
Sirens signal the storm
The rain came to shatter, reflections of me
Pieces of the puzzle to place
Heavy, yet ready
Guide me into grace

Chorus:
Heavy, heavy
I can't carry this weight
Steady, steady now
Lean into faith, til we break
Through

Bridge:
Dreaming of finding home, safe from the storm
Be weightless my soul, when fear lets me go

Chorus:
Heavy, heavy
I will carry this weight
Steady, steady now
Lean into faith, we will break
Through

Original Song: A Little Piece of Quiet

It's like the windows in my spirit and my soul 
have all been painted over
It's like the locks in my heart 
were changed, and not by me 
and no one made me a key

It's like I'll never know what could grow 
outside these gates
What kinds of fates would await me
It's like these poison clouds are shrouds 
upon my ears
It gets harder and harder to hear

I just, I just need
A little piece of quiet
Turn it down
Shut it out 
Gimme more of that sweet silence

​It's like more people just keep dying all the time
with bigger numbers come smaller headlines
I make a fist, resist, 
but this twisted mind it binds my wrists
I exist in fits
Is this all there is
If I killed this sound
Would I drown or live

Repeat Chorus

Original Song: This Time

let's face it
we're not gonna change
some people's minds

they weren't raised right
taught to kill and fight
you know the kind

and all I can hope for is
their children will see the light
look with your heart, kid
You know what they're doing ain't right
 
this time we are living in
makes me wanna give in and die
but this rage keeps me living
injustice makes me wanna try
I don't understand how some
folks can turn a blind eye
no more will I ignore
I aint letting up this time
 
It's now or never
I ain't ever seen it this bad
so many years of pretending
what we had
now everything's broken and
every one is the glue
If you won't join us
I will fight harder than you
 
let's face it
we're not gonna change
some people's minds
they weren't raised right
taught to kill and fight
you know the kind

and all I can hope for is
that their children are not blind
look with your heart, kid
we'll make it better this time

Thank you, readers, for stopping by and lifting up our members by bearing witness to their work! Community members and prospective members, please check out our FAQ pages if you are interested in being a part of the Lady Brain fam!

This month was all about exploring vulnerability. Starting with a virtual workshop led by Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, attendees were challenged with finding and posting a visual or creative representation of their current state (see below for some examples). 

After the completion of the workshop, we challenged members to continue tapping into their own artistic vulnerability and asked them to share what came up creatively as a result. The idea was not to create a masterpiece, but rather a simple and honest reflection of the moment we are in. Some members utilized the above photos as inspiration, others started from scratch. Below is their beautiful and honest art. Thank you, collective members for sharing yourselves with our greater community. 

Cathryn Beeks is a musician, producer, and mixed media artist (not to mention founder of Listen Local Radio as well as host of the Lady Brain Podcast). She says, “It's amazing how perspective changes everything, how everything changes, including preconceived notions. What was once so distasteful has now become a comfort zone, a place to settle down and live a life full of simple pleasures."

Lizzie Wann is a published poet and spoken word artist. The piece she submitted is called “Life's Work" - it combines inspiration from two of our initial visual prompts: the Danielle Coke quote as well as the Baskoro Lanjar Prasetyo work. She says, “Recognizing where I am personally in the midst of inequality and racial injustice, among other things, has been difficult yet ultimately motivating. Understanding the ebb and flow of energy needed to combat these struggles remains a constant lesson."

Life’s Work

morning fog matches my brain
grasping for clarity as my eyes adjust
sun struggles to break through

revelations about the past
explode my here and now
disassemble awareness

work begins to unlearn
I gather blue smoke
to synthesize renewed insight

every day is a choice to act
that is, to take action,
not to pretend for colorless accolades

it becomes a daily election
to cast a vote toward justice
to righteously fight for freedom 

this grim fog hovers
but clear skies are beyond
in joy, in celebration, in resistance

Marie Haddad is a musician and mixed media artist. Below is her untitled photograph submission.

Astra Kelly is a musician, producer, artist, and spiritual practitioner. Her spoken word piece is called “The Right to Mourn."

The Right to Mourn
I feel robbed of my right to mourn. 
You’re talking about rights?
to bear arms, to harm 
your brother, your father, your grandmother? 

My grandmother passed alone the day before my mother’s birthday who is battling cancer during a pandemic....navigating a whole other systemic 
blunder. 

How many lives lost on the side while dis-ease rages far and wide 
and those we love left vulnerable to die? 

How can you not see as you run naked through the streets 
with your fuck you flying, screaming I don’t care 

From there, we’ve fallen 

I feel robbed of my right to mourn.
There have been no moments of honoring lives lost, 
our test of endurance or our resilience 
in bearing the cost of this madness. 

I want a voice that glides on fire as we stand ready to fight. 
Who shouts “we will rise up strong and give everything to the cause.”
One who rallies our hearts to unite as an army of love. 
I long for one who speaks and the wind blows stronger 
as the spirits whisper of empowerment and materialize into our frame 
as we prepare to play the game 
risking everything for the ones we love and simply cannot lose. 

I feel robbed of my right to mourn.
My chest tight with holding back, fear in my throat, afraid of the breakdown, 
feeling the weight of this reality and the impending rebirth of the humanity we’ve lost. 

I want to be close to you. I miss you. I want to grieve with you together as one so we can rebuild when the moment comes and the danger has passed

Forgive those who cannot embrace the truth and who dwell upon the murky depths of illusion 

For now, we wait.

Lindsay White is a writer, musician, and organizer of Lady Brain Presents. She says, “I'm increasingly concerned, anxious, and depressed about what is happening in my own mind and heart, as well as what is happening in this country. We have always been terrible as a country and as a society at acknowledging the harm we do to ourselves and each other; instead we seek out distraction, we stoke division, we fuel fear. We'd rather have a spectacle than have a look in the mirror. I'm taking off social media for the next few months to tend to my wellbeing and try to do good in the world without feeling the pressure or guilt or shame or fear or anger that my online experiences seem to exacerbate. The below is one of the final pieces of prose I shared on my Facebook account. Hopefully if and when I do return, we'll be vaccinated and Trump-free."

The Worst of Us
​He told us who he was back in 2016 and since 2016. We can’t seriously be clutching our pearls about the taxes. We can’t seriously be surprised about the bullying and lack of decorum. We can’t seriously be flabbergasted by the misogyny, the manipulative appeal to Christians, and the fanning of fear flames. We can’t seriously be shocked about the latest in a series of white supremacist dog whistles. What is this theatre we are sucked into, where he does what we know he will do, then we point at it hysterically and say “see!?” to all the other people who not only also knew he’d do it, but LOVE (overtly or covertly) that he did it? There’s got to be some other way.

I hope voting this vile creature out of the highest office in the land looks like a sunrise, sounds like thunder, feels like trash day, smells like spring, and tastes like freedom. And I hope we remember that we should have all taken the responsibility to flick him off the national stage like a picnic ant back in 2016 when we had the chance to casually do it without hundreds of thousands of casualties. When we had a chance to empower a qualified womxn over an incompetent manchild. So the next time someone comes along who is a threat to all things that are good and safe and kind and just, we don’t make sport of letting them prove to us for four years what we already knew. Please, for the love of democracy and the safety of this country and its people, do not cast your ballot for Trump. He is the worst of us. He is the worst for us. He is the worst.

Thanks to all those members who attended our vulnerability workshop and who shared their creations! And thanks to YOU for attending this virtual exhibit on vulnerability! We will be taking the remainder of the year to focus on private member meetups and workshops, and will keep the community posted on future public community gatherings as soon as we get the green light to organize in-person events! In the meantime, please be sure to visit our Member profiles to see how you can support them during this hard time, and don't forget to check out our LB For Hire page if you'd like to employ a local creative womxn for your next project! Prospective members, find out more about joining the Lady Brain Collective here.

Thanks so much to those who attended our Virtual Cafe workshop on the topic of vulnerability with guest facilitator, Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, Director of the Conscious Leadership Academy and the founder of the Center for Women’s Leadership at the University of San Diego. Lorri guided attendees in a discussion about where we are, what we need, what we are learning, and what we might shift to adapt to this moment and meet ourselves. 

We started with a check-in and shared answers to Lorri's prompt: What is one of the biggest shifts, creatively or otherwise, you've had to make in the last several months, and what opportunity or insight have you noticed from this time?

We also talked about some of the ways anxiety can push us into a disequilibrium or detachment that prohibits us from accessing our vulnerability or makes us feel as though being vulnerable might threaten our safety. We learned some myths surrounding vulnerability, for example:

• vulnerability is weakness
• I don't do vulnerability
• I can go it alone
• I can get the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability
• Trust comes before vulnerability
• Vulnerability is disclosure
• Systemic vulnerability is the same thing as relational vulnerability

Lorri challenged us to identify how these myths show up in our lives, where they are coming from in our experiences, and think about what we can do to challenge them and rewrite our narratives moving forward. She also talked about developing strong networks of support to combat those times when our traditional support systems (family, etc.) might not be able to show up for us as we hoped. See clip below:

Thank you to everyone who attended this week's member workshop Q&A with Mona Tavakoli! Her positive energy, insight, and commitment to being part of a team was a breath of fresh air in today's often-dark, isolating times. Below, enjoy a couple clips from our virtual call where Mona talks about showing up authentically for social justice. 

If you're a San Diego-based womxn or non-binary/gender non-conforming creative who is interested in building community, collective education, and resource sharing, we'd love to have you! Please register to join Lady Brain Collective here! ​

Thanks to all who participated in this year's (virtual) Lady Brain Film Festival. The pandemic threw a huge wrench into our event plans, but we are still so excited to support our members and recognize their awesome work. Not to mention, our selection committee was stacked full of incredible womxn filmmakers and artists who were kind enough to share their work and expertise. Click below to experience the festival from the comfort of your home!